April 20th, 2019 was full of happiness and joy with the arrival of David and my first daughter. We had a hectic first few days and weren’t released until April 24th. Little did I know that I would get a phone call the next day with the worst news I have received. It was our first full day at home with our brand new, baby girl and we were over the moon to finally have her home. Then that evening of April 25th, I received a phone call that my Aunt Chris was in the hospital and wasn’t going to make it. I had to say goodbye to her with words that didn’t want to come out, words that I didn’t believe, through the sound of tears.
That was a tough weekend, bittersweet time spent with family. But, the following weeks were so busy that I was left with no time to properly grieve. Almost 4 months later and things are finally calming down and we are starting to get in a routine with our new life as parents and until recently, my grief is suddenly hitting harder than it has in the past few months. It’s the littlest things that bring on the sad thoughts and tears. The thought that she never got to meet Myla in person breaks my heart. I miss hearing the words “That’s awesome, Emy! I’m so proud of you!” It didn’t matter what I did, she was always proud of my smallest accomplishments. It’s antique stores and shopping for hours. It’s a 44oz Polar Pop. It’s her ever famous broccoli cheddar casserole. It’s fireworks that remind me of the trip we made to St. Louis for the Fourth of July. It’s Nickleback, Michael Jackson, John Denver, and Queen songs that pop up on my radio. Songs that take me back to days we would drive country roads singing with the radio on full blast. Aunt Chris loved music and singing and although I’m not much of a singer, I love music and singing too. Tonight I came across a dress that my mom bought me for a birthday party but I threw a fit over, a memory I had long forgotten. With that memory came remembering Aunt Chris helping my mom do all my friends hair and makeup. David said “I’ve never heard that story before.” But it’s just the little things that bring out the memories.
So, to those of you grieving a lost loved one, I know it’s sad. I know it’s hard. But choosing to remember the good times and not dwelling on the sadness will help! When you get sad about your loved one no longer being here on earth with you, know they are looking down, watching with joy. Choose to remember the good times. Write your feelings down! Share their story! Keep their legacy alive for future generations. Laugh. Cry.
Remember.
This post is dedicated to the antique loving, impression and accent making, funniest person, and the most beautiful guardian angel. I love and miss you always, Aunt Chris ❤️❤️
? Losing my sister Chris has been the hardest loss so far in my life. I miss her every day but mostly, I will miss the family gatherings & life happenings without her! We all wanted and prayed that you would get better, but that day we all knew we had to say goodbye. It has left a aching hole in my life. Thank you Emily for your kind words & love; beautifully said!!!! I choose to celebrate her life & remember the lessons learned.