2020, Thank you for all that you have taught me….
Wow, it’s been a long time since I have sat down to write a blog post. Over a year actually, but today, I was feeling inspired.
2020 did not come without its struggles, as most years tend to have, but 2020 seemed to have a few more and some pretty unusual ones at that.
To say we all struggled is an understatement. Amidst a global pandemic, political, and civil unrest we all fought our way through 2020 anxiously awaiting for its end. As we rang in the New Year, everyone was saying “GOOD RIDDANCE!!” to 2020. And while I would like to say the same, I can’t help but look back and ponder on all the blessings that horrid year brought.
Despite emotional, financial, and spiritual struggles, 2020 brought us many blessings in disguise. A global pandemic, COVID-19, broke out, practically putting society at a standstill. While we all rushed into madness to the stores to empty shelves of toilet paper, canned goods, meat, the freezer section, and just about anything you think you MIGHT possibly need for the next several months, TAKE IT ALL! This left many families who did not have the luxury to stock up on necessities empty handed. My family was one of those, and while I wanted to be angry at all those who selfishly took everything from people like us, we were BLESSED with angels who provided us food to stock the freezer, that got us well through quarantine. It stopped to remind me that there are good people in this world, willing to help their neighbors that are in need, we even had someone drive two hours to deliver meat to us!! I only hope that one day I am able to bless a family in a way that they blessed ours.
Then the next dilemma, mass shut downs!! “OH NO!!” we said. What ever will we do without restaurants and movie theaters and schools and daycares, etc?! Church services, funerals, weddings, mass gatherings were all put on hold! But alas, we made it, and are continuing to make it through that madness. We were told to stay home, stay safe! So that we did. We went months without seeing friends ad family, thank you FaceTime, Zoom, Google Duo, etc for allowing us the luxury to at least be able to see the faces of our loved ones. We felt out of touch with reality, not knowing when we might see each other again, or be able to resume our normal, day to day lives. Yet again, there was a BLESSING in disguise! It taught us to slow down, to cherish the moments we do have with each other because we are never promised tomorrow. With daycares being shut down for nearly 3.5 months, it BLESSED me with the opportunity to stay home with Myla and watch her take her first steps, celebrate her first birthday (thank you Zoom!), watch her personality grow into a curious, strong-headed, beautiful girl! Yes, you’re right, this came with its own set of struggles, financially and emotionally. We had to learn how to keep a WILD toddler with so much pent up energy entertained in the house all day. That was just another challenge we had to get through, but we made it! This time period hit when Myla was around 11-15 months old, which came with soooo many beautiful milestones. This time for many was spent playing board games, puzzles, movies, Netflix binging, and playing in the backyards like the “good ‘ol days!”. Let’s not forget about TIKTOK!!! So many tiktoks!!
Then came a time where we were safely allowed to visit family. The feeling of being able to see and hug someone outside your household was nothing short of amazing. To keep groups small, this kept us inside, able to spend QUALITY time with our loved ones. There was less watching TV or sitting on phones and more of cherishing the moments before us. With daycares being closed and David’s work schedule, it again BLESSED us with the opportunity to see family often. Moments I will hold dearly to my heart forever. During this time we said goodbye to my child-hood home, welcomed my sister and her family ack to Louisville, spent many days swimming in my in-laws pool, good, home-made meals, and precious moments with my dad’s parents, Mamaw and Papaw. I was able to see Myla develop loving relationships with all these people. The memories of these laughs and the smiles brings tears to my eyes. I was devastated when we had to postpone and then again cancel Myla’s *belated* FIRST birthday party, but it was yet just another obstacle we had to overcome. These times allowed us to spend quality moments with my sick, dying grandfather. I dwelled on what the future held, not wanting it to happen so soon, but in those moments I watched Myla’s love for him bloom. The week before he passed we visited him one last time. We mostly sat around the house and served him hand and foot whatever he wanted! His requests were watermelon and my mama’s homemade apple pie. YUM! Every morning as soon as he would hear Myla awake he would say, “Well mother, I’m ready to get up!” (He always called my mamaw, his wife, mother when he wanted something.) It was mornings sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, watching him and Myla share their own special language and love. Myla was mostly only speaking gibberish at the time and the only two words she said consistently were mama and dada, but that week she said “Papaw!” clear as day. I know that just melted his heart and made him feel so special and proud. The next week we spent time at Lake Barkley with my in-laws. It was a lovely trip with its own cherished memories but one very bitter-sweet one. That’s where we were when I got the much dreaded call that it was time. I dreaded calling to talk to him all day long. But right as we went to sit down for dinner I sucked up my pride and FaceTimed my mom so we could talk to Papaw. I said my goodbyes and told Myla to talk to him. When they told him Myla was there saying hi, a tear streamed down his face. He had spent most of that day unresponsive but you could see he wanted to talk back. Myla blew kisses to her beloved Papaw and as we hung up, with tears in his eyes he took his last breath. As bittersweet as that memory is, I am thankful for that last moment. Papaw was so in love with everything his grand and great-grandchildren did. As heartbroken as I was, and still am, that I lost him, I am so thankful that 2020 allotted us the moments to spend with him.
We cherished our moments during our little vacation to Lake Barkley. It was really the first time most of us had spent time away from home. We spent the days eating, drinking, playing games, swimming, boating, kayaking, etc. The sunsets were so beautiful!
2020 also came with some BIG life decisions. I went back to work in July and decided I was going to quit and go back to school. Something that had long been on my heart prospered into reality, and I don’t think it would have been possible without 2020. It allowed me to spend time thinking and praying on what my next steps in life were. There were ALOT of struggles and obstacles I faced on getting back into school, but with God’s hands guiding me, I was once again BLESSED! I have pursued an education in Nursing at JCTC for my ADN. *Please continue your prayers and support for me*
We all lost a lot in 2020. I lost my beloved grandfather and unexpectedly, a dear friend of mine. Not to mention the financial and emotional struggles everyone faced, but 2020 also brought us blessings beyond imagination. We received exciting news this year that my brother and sister-in-law are expecting their 8th child!! AND my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are expecting their FIRST baby, it’s a girl!! We are so excited to had two more babies to our abundance of nieces and nephews!!
While Christmas and the New Year was spent quaintly, we enjoyed each moment without the normal “hustle and bustle” that the holiday season brings. 2021 seems to already come with its own set of obstacles and trials but 2020 made me strong enough to keep a positive outlook. When I choose to look back on the “horrid” 2020, I CHOOSE to see my blessings. What will you choose? What good things happened to you? Did you learn to love a little more? Did you learn to slow down a little from this crazy life?
So here is to 2020, thank you for all you taught me.
xo,
Em
**P.S. the pictures used were of the sunset minutes after my Papaw gained his heavenly wings. A reminder that I have another guardian angel watching over my precious family.
Sitting here bawling my eyes out! Beautifully said Em!!!! Yes, the year 2020 came with much change and hardships, but I am thankful that you choose to see the blessings. God is good, all the time. We don’t have to always understand the challenges God gives us, but it is important we see God’s light shining through the darkness. I am thankful you have been given the talent to write, maybe someday you can write a book. You have a gift. Enjoy the journey! Love, momma xoxoxo