It was a day I had been dreading. No, not the labor and delivery, I was excited and eager about that. I was dreading to be induced. I had heard all the horror stories and had a plan in my head how the labor and delivery was gonna go, and being induced was definitely not part of it. I was scheduled for induction on Thursday, 4/18/19, the day after my due date, at 7pm. David and I arrived at the hospital at 6:30. I was so nervous but David reassured me everything would be okay and at the end of it we would have our baby in our arms. Although the induction had been scheduled since Monday, 4/15, the hospital did not have me in the system. This kept us waiting until 10:30pm, which made my nerves worse. In the meantime, my mom, dad, and Mamaw had arrived to keep us company. Finally, the midwife came in to insert the uterine balloon and cervadil. This caused a lot of pain and cramping, do you know how hard it was to walk or sit or move??? I was extremely uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. I had bad back labor which made sleeping impossible. Thankfully, my mom decided to stay the night at the hospital with David and I. She helped keep us company and distract us by playing Uno and Sorry!. The next morning came with constant contractions. The midwives were so impressed and just knew I would go into labor right away. Around 9:30am they removed the uterine balloon and cervadil and found out I had dilated to 6cm, 100% effaced, and a -2 station! It was happening!!! Or so we thought…. They started me on pitocin at noon and contractions picked up right away. I spent most of the day out of the bed sitting on the yoga ball, using a peanut ball, or walking the halls. David and mom kept me laughing all day, so even though it was long, they helped me enjoy the experience. The contractions continued, I only had minor pain in my back but could still walk and talk through them, even with them being a steady 2-3 minutes apart. Everyone was so surprised I had not progressed since the balloon was removed and that my pain level was a 1 with as frequent as the contractions were. They had to knock the pitocin up past 20 and it still had little to no affect on me. At this point I was becoming impatient and ready to meet my baby. I would do anything it took to get things going. David’s mom and sisters arrived for a visit around 6pm Friday night. They visited for a little bit before heading out to get some rest. Shortly after they left, around 8pm, they broke my water. This is when things really started to pick up. Contractions became really strong and were no longer minor. This is when the moaning and groaning came in. Let me tell ya, as weird as they sound, the noises are inevitable and really helped with the pain. We knew breaking my water would progress me fast and I would be pushing in no time. We were prepared to call family and friends that it was time. But yet again, labor stalled, the contractions did not but I was still sitting at 6cm. I was in so much pain I could not sit still so I asked the nurse if I could shower since I was hooked up to the pitocin and antibiotics. Thankfully she said I could so I jumped up, undressed, and ran to sit in the shower. I didn’t really run, but you get the point. Through all this my husband was such a trooper. He undressed to his underwear and stood in the shower rubbing my back and calming me through the contractions. I sat in the shower for an hour and finally asked for them to bring in the birthing tub to relax. Hot water has always relaxed me and even though it did not take the pain away, it was able to calm me and focus on something else for a little bit. My mom also stayed with me the whole time helping David and I. After what seemed like hours of being in the tub, I finally got out and was going to try to get some rest. I was exhausted and had 0 energy to walk to the bed. Mom and David had to help me out of the tub and into the bed. And even though the bed was uncomfortable and small, I begged David to lay with me and hold me to help me fall asleep and my mom sat by my side holding my hand while I shook in pain. The pain was not easing and I was still not progressing. This is the point I looked at my mom with tears in my eyes and said “Mom, I can’t do it.” She assured me I could and I would. I started begging for an epidural, which was also not a part of my birth plan. David and mom knew I was adamant that I would not get one. Mom looked at me and said, “Remember what your nurse said? ‘You have to tell yourself that an epidural does not exist.'” But I knew that if I did not get an epidural, I would not make it through the pushing. Around 4am, the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. I wanted to feel like a failure but knew this was best for me, baby, and everyone for that matter. Think, I had already been sitting in the hospital for 33 hours! I finally got some relief and was able to sleep. But then, my blood pressure dropped to 70/40 and the baby’s heart rate dropped too. I don’t remember this part much, probably because of my low BP but I do remember waking up to the anesthesiologist and several nurses in my room rushing around me in a frenzy. I looked at David, asleep on the floor mat, and thought he needed to sleep so I let him be. And I started mentally preparing myself for a c-section. I knew it was inevitable. Shortly after, my midwife came in and inserted a uterine monitor and manipulated my cervix. I was in such extreme pain and was clenching my legs together. I was crying in agony. I wanted to scream at the nurses and tell them to get the monitor out of me! I was angry, exhausted, impatient, and all other kinds of emotions. I remember looking at my mom as she called my sister in tears and said “Elaura, I need you to come up here. I don’t know what to do anymore. I cannot keep her calm. I need you. Please come.” It was hard seeing my mom in this position. David had woken up and my sister had arrived around 7:30. They all worked together to keep me focused. At this point, my epidural was not giving me any relief. My legs were weak but I was still able to feel and move them. The midwives and nurses were afraid that the baby was face up and not moving down the birth canal because I still was not progressing much. And then, all of a sudden, I started to bear down and have that uncontrollable pushing sensation my mom kept talking about. The anesthesiologist came in ready to administer another dose into my epidural but my sister stepped in and said it wouldn’t have time to set in because I was finally ready to push!!!! The nurse told me my midwife was in another delivery so I had to clench my legs tight to resist the urge to push for nearly 30 minutes. I told myself I had made it 36 hours since being induced, I could wait a few minutes longer. Once the midwife came in, she checked me and said, “Yup! It’s time to have a baby!” I pushed for a miraculous 15 minutes. It was extremely hard but never once did I think “I am never doing this again!” or look at my husband and say “Why did you do this to me?!” The whole time I thought back to a necklace my mom had given me when she arrived at the hospital. I wore it all during labor and have not removed it since I put it on. The necklace says Be Brave. I kept telling myself to be brave and that I could do it. That saying, although simple, has come to mean so much to me. And finally at 11:32 am, Myla Estes Hayden arrived in the world. The moment she was placed in my arms a sigh of relief came and all the pain had washed away. It is true when a mother says she does not remember the pain. It is a magical experience and I can only hope I am blessed enough to experience it again. Something one of the midwives told me early on was “It is the only pain that has a positive outcome.” In another post I will tell you David’s perspective because he got to catch the baby and announce her gender! Thank you for reading my birth story and I hope you continue to follow along with our family adventures!
1 thought on “To my first daughter….”
Comments are closed.
It was a beautiful experience to be a part of! Every birthing plan we have envisioned is altered, even the near “perfect” ones. A new life is precious! I am thankful for my brave daughter, for her determination, for her love, for her supportive husband, for my other daughter Elaura, and mostly for the gift God gave us in our sweet Myla Estes. Myla may be our 10th grandchild, but each one has brought their own special gifts to our family table. I am so grateful to be their Nana & my husband of almost 36 years feels blessed to be their Pappy! ?